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Climbing Out

Climbing out of a depressive state is never easy.

You are aggressively at war with yourself as you are trying to understand yourself and what got you here..

For me, I faced a lot of personal conflict with my own self image while also battling unnerving amounts of lack of communication with coparenting, struggling to understand why my child won't just tell the truth to himself and others, and all the while trying to be a great partner..


I have #ADHD and I also suffer with #PTSD. These are things like to highlight, as I feel they are not who I am, but they are behaviors I have that I am learning to grow out of and in certain cases, adapt to.


I have been working really hard over the years, right along side my amazing partner, Tony, to figure out [The Best] day to day routine for me... One of those shifts, is increased physical activity. I HAVE to be physically active in my day, or I tend to slip into ruts; that are better these days, but are overall pretty hard to get out of..

When I exercise, I normally don't go into it, thinking about which part of my body I am about to massacre... I go in wondering what mental and internal crap am I hanging onto that I can literally, SHAKE OFF in a work out.


Growth is not always having inspirational diarrhea or not telling someone to "fuck off"(no matter how much they may deserve it)... sometimes its ugly crying on your shower floor until that feeling is no longer wrenched up in your gut.. and then you wash that beautiful soul up, stand in front of that mirror, and remind yourself how Unique and Amazing you are.

Because, you are.

And what they think... don't matter. Period.


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